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| im sorry renee |
| 03.07.05 (3:59 am) [edit] |
i dont know how i can say this but im just not gay! i tried to be with renee but it isnt working because i dont like her like that. i love my ex...i do i was with him for a long time and i just went for renee for a rebound and i know that sounds horrible and i feel bad about it, im sorry renee. i cant do it anymore i cant like you like that because i dont like you like that!
i love my ex...he always treated me right and we had stupid fights which would rip us apart. he was jealous but it was the cute jealous never the overly possessive jealous thing. he moved away from me, he had to move and i think thats why i ended it. but im going to work out this long distance thing with him because i love him. he might be a long ways away but i know he loves me, he told me he loved me and he told me that i meant the world to him and i cant give that up. i cant give up on this person who has been there for me the whole way, loved me with his whole heart and everything within it, i know i screwed him over but hes willing to forgive me and im going to do the best i can to make it right. i miss him and i feel so stupid for ending it. im sorry baby...im so sorry
---}---@ hayley
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| :( |
| 02.06.05 (10:08 am) [edit] |
lolll i love this james kid hes sooooo funny anyway i am with renee and i love it so i dont need to share with anybody else how happy i am because it isnt their business in the first place but whatever yeah im friends with my ex b/f and i just want to continue on good terms with him after the breakup it just seems right.
daniel-
im sorry for your loss and i know not everybody knows yet but i know you will share with them when ready and i know i cant help you for everything and i cant make it better for you at all and i know you must be in so much pain. im always here for a good conversation and if you need to smile and i hope you will contact me. we all love you and im so sorry.
-hayley
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| weird |
| 01.24.05 (7:49 am) [edit] |
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its weird i never expected to like RENEE lol
(very short entry)
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| back :) |
| 01.10.05 (11:59 am) [edit] |
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lol i saw jessies entry well im back!! im with my b/f still guys even though i thought i wasnt but im glad i am and i love him! we still have a hard time finding time for eachother but hes working on it. so wow how is everybody? most of you are still w/ your special person im thankful i am! amanda and jessie, joleen and todd, renee and theo, awww dans engaged, andrew found somebody awwwww wow you all suck! i love ya!
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| racing |
| 07.28.04 (1:23 pm) [edit] |
my b/f and i went racing yesterday at this local race track. it was cool. i had so much fun. we went out to eat and had a few burgers i wasnt that hungry but i ate a little so he didnt feel bad. he came over to my house late that night and we watched movies...lol corny movies too. we were watching like snow white. i think that movie is a really boring disney movie i mean i love disney but i hate that movie so i was yawning the whole time. we watched stuart little. i love that mouse but i loved the cat more, the cat was so cute. of course we topped the night off with a violent cowboy movie, hes great.
---}---@ hayley
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| happiness!! |
| 07.26.04 (1:22 pm) [edit] |
i had a great weekend with my b/f. we are so much better after our open relationship and he seems happier with me. its a nice thing to have something that we have again. we were dancing together at my friends house at some party and he looked into my eyes and told me he loved me. i think i almost died. hence the subject....HAPPINESS!!
---}---@ hayley
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| vindicated |
| 07.20.04 (3:37 pm) [edit] |
i love that song! i love dashboard.....im just in love with their music. he has such a sexy voice. god i could orgasm just hearing it on a regular basis, i cant stop listening to that song. i love jessies blog right now, lol. im glad cadey poo is back, i missed him so much. hes the positive vibe of tblog i swear, he always was. such a friendly guy. my b/f doesnt like the idea of me having a blog....i think hes afraid ill run off with one of you sexy internet whores. tblog looks better now though i just hope it doesnt have as many problems. im not in the mood to switch any blog sites though i would go to xanga if i had to go. i went to a few shows last night. it was great, i saw some old friends, it was cool to hang out with them before we all enter our senior year.
---}---@ hayley
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| amigo |
| 07.14.04 (3:01 pm) [edit] |
my b/f and i are back to normal. he isnt with any other girl and we ended the open relationship and im so happy. EVERYBODY NEEDS TO BE HAPPY AGAIN! fuck andrew seriously. we can have our original clan back and be cool with eachother. fuck the assholes. im sorry but i hate nelly, he sucks. i dont know why the fuck he even makes music anymore. i hate ashlee simpson and i hate just about everybody else. im not even jealous its just that they suck and they shouldnt even bother anymore.
i love you alllllllll
joleen, amanda, renee, jason, cade, clint, danielle, jessie (i dont know her too well but i love her). everybody else i forgot to list.
---}---@ hayley
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| Impact on my life... |
| 07.10.04 (4:16 pm) [edit] |
most of you graduated, but those who havent....just think about it.
Amanda and i were talking last night about life when we graduate next year. i was reading Renee's entry before which striked up the conversation. im terrified of the future. im afraid of graduation day. im afraid of the last day of school ever. im afraid to say goodbye to my friends who ive known all my life and ill never forget. once you start off, you generally dont turn around. some do if they stay local or stick together. im going to miss staying up late and partying with friends. i have this last year to make everything count in my life. it makes you feel sad when you think about your last few moments with these people who believe it or not have made a difference in your life. whether it be a good difference or a bad difference. but even your enemies change your life. i always look at all old pictures with my friends and honest to god i wish i were going into my freshman year again. im afraid of college, i hate growing up and parting with people who i love with my life. sorry, i just had to let that all out.
---}--@ hayley
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| broken |
| 07.04.04 (10:50 am) [edit] |
my boyfriend did find a girl that he's seeing during our open relationship time here. it really does hurt more than i thought it would. it's painful....doesn't he realize how much it does hurt? i'm a cheerful person. i smile a lot....until now. worst part is, i know her. i hate this. i'm going to deal with it. i'll make it through.....i need him. he's spending his 4th with her and i have no one. i'm just going to stay home and do nothing. i'll just sit up in my room and read something. i'm better off that way. otherwise i'll find him and hurt him. i don't get why people hurt the other person rather than the person they're with. the person they're with is the guilty fucker. how do i do this to myself? i'm just letting him do this to me and i'm letting him make me miserable while he's out doing whatever he wants with whatever girl. i should meet some guy or maybe i should just relax. it'll blow over right? maybe they'll have a shitty time together and he'll come back to me as he always does. we've been together for a long time and i don't know why he has to do this to me. i see why you people do long distance, fuckin local shit kills. they hurt you a lot fuckin more. ahhhhh i'm going crazy. help me somebody.
no more roses. hayley
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| MYYY sunshine AFTERRR the RAINNN |
| 07.01.04 (5:56 pm) [edit] |
sorry had to bust out the 98° for a second there and i knew you would love every last typed word of it!! i had this really deep conversation with dan yesterday and i love him like a brother, he's like my big brother when i need to count on someone. i'll always love him like a big brother and that wont ever change. i cant have feelings for someone like that. it would totally kill the whole relationship and i dont want that at all. but guess what yall! im going to this awesome concert but i dont even know what it is because my friends have the tickets and well they are surprising me i guess. thats cool! yay!! i feel corny, im listening to a 98° cd. lol please dont tell me what a loser i am. its mine and my boyfriends song....the song in the subject. i think its a sweet song. 98° had nice voices when they sang together. nick lachey sucks on his own. they werent the ordinary boy band though...well they KINDA were. i just liked them better than the others. im kinda bummed right now. my boyfriend wants an open relationship just to solve our problems and i dont see how that will work. im willing to give him what he wants only because i care for him a lot. i cant do much about this though and if it tears us apart, its his fault!! i need support.
---}---@ hayley
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| cereal |
| 06.27.04 (12:20 pm) [edit] |
my cereal is my only bit of enjoyment right now, my b/f and i are having our usual problems of the week. i dont like feeling controlled or being told i cant do things when i can. i have my own rights and i have my own opinions, i wont always follow his. but hey aside from that ive had a good weekend, went and spent time with some friends of mine from france. i do have some friends from france, long time family friends. they were so great to see, i have a hard time understanding french, i need someone who will help me learn it. i suck at foreign languages, i dont like them at all. why cant everyone speak english? or why cant we all speak french, spanish, latin, italian, russian, dutch, portuguese, or something. it would make life so much easier. i failed my foreign language exam because i wasnt in class enough, but i wasnt there because i was never given a foreign language! i swear i wasnt. they made me take an exam for something i never learned this past year. im taking precalc this year this should be fun even though im predicting a big failure as i already am. nobody can tell me otherwise since all i do is let everyone down. all of my friends are smart, as for me im not at all. i suck when it comes to languages, cooking, history, science, some math. english is my best subject for christ sakes. my parents want me to go to boarding school which sucks. i dont get why they want me away from them so badly at times, at other times like to spend time with me, invite me places. but it seems they always want me out of their hair.
[b]----}----@[/b] hayley
also who is this inyourhead person? shes everywhere and i dont like it. :evil:
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| backkkkk |
| 06.25.04 (1:56 pm) [edit] |
hey guys its hayley. i just came back today so have no suspicions. this sucks right now but im working on a good blog again.
----}---@ hayley
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Loving you
IS
the best thing
for ME
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